8/3/2023 0 Comments Emotionally focused therapy![]() ![]() This can lead to you becoming a conflict-avoidant couple. The problem doesn’t get addressed nor resolved, and the next time the issue arises, the pattern repeats. This fear manifests as withdrawal and distance. This fear manifests as anger and dismissal.Īt the same time, Steven withdraws because he’s afraid he’ll always be defined by his past actions and will never meet Monika’s expectations. Monika, beneath the surface, is afraid of being disappointed and let down because of Steven’s history of not putting in effort towards quality time. Steven feels criticized and hurt, so he gets quiet. Monika is upset that Steven is distracted when she’s trying to do something special together. Steven: (Sighs, goes quiet, doesn’t respond) You never care about us spending time together. Monika: Hey babe, what should we cook for dinner? One partner may attack and the other may withdraw. You may withdraw, get quiet, or give your partner the cold shoulder. Attack – Withdrawĭuring disagreements, you may attack, criticize or raise your voice. Often, these patterns are a dizzying dance of demands, critiques, or withdrawal. There are common patterns that keep you from moving forward. When we become aware of our emotions, learn how to regulate them, and transform them into loving interactions, we become more emotionally intelligent, understanding, and secure in our relationships. Right now, that sense of security might be missing because your emotions dictate your actions instead of informing your decisions to encourage compassionate communication. ![]() This is the feeling of comfort you get knowing that your partner is there for you, and that they care about your needs. One of EFT’s goals is to create a secure emotional bond between you and your partner. EFT is useful for couples caught in a never-ending battle with the same outcome every time where both parties feel distanced. Clients experience, accept, and transform negative emotions and patterns into positive emotions and bond-enhancing interactions. Emotionally focused therapy can help you identify this pattern and see that it’s a result of emotional needs that are unmet.Įmotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a research-proven approach that views disagreements between couples as a result of insecure attachments. Even if the topic is different it’s the same cycle. When we fight with our partner, our arguments can feel familiar because they follow a certain pattern. ![]()
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